| I've made some personal choices that have helped me figure out what i need to do. Some big changes are coming soon I think. Changes that will allow me to peruse music and recording anytime. Which is all I need in this world at the moment. It's nice because it'll also allow me to be on my own for the first time in my life...and allow me to grow. I'm psyched. Don't want to jinx anything though. Any who The new Radiohead has to be my new favorite album this year. It's perfect for this time of the year. Every songs just sweeps me away and in some ways gives me lots of hope of a positive future. I don't know...can't complain. Internet is still evil. Curiosity really did kill the cat. Speaking of cats...my sister's are fucking so cute.
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| BALLS! Things are better...almost immediately after my last post things got better. Fam was a mess. Fam is all better...or gettin there. It's funny how my mood is directly affected by the soul people I'm close to. Everyone i know is basically going through some sort of shit. Which yeah, effects my mood. I wish i could just make other peoples problems go away. At one time i felt that's what my purpose was...So yeah sorta down but I cannot complain. I've readjusted...well almost. I had an inevitable reencounter. It was fine...but i think it's hitting me just now? The past 2 days I haven't felt the same. Something is definitely missing. I miss being in Love. But I've missed my freedom as well. There needs to be some middle ground where I can have both. Just sucks...i've built up this wall again and i'm almost afraid of how long it will be again until I can let my guard down. There's so many things i've learned. And it's just a shame i cannot share what I now know with someone...not for awhile...not until someone comes along and knocks me on my ass. BLEHHH...anywho buying a fucking DW kit somewhat soon. What am I thinking?? I don't even have a place to play it! I need to play music...I need the last 8 months of my life back to re focus on my passions. But seems like i have a new passion...but is only half fulfilled.
p.s. I'm drunk.
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| How do you help someone who has basically hit rock bottom? Minus the heroin addiction? How do you help someone who's 26, has lost their job, and has not one penny to their name? How do help someone who cannot be approached without becoming instantly suicidal? How do you help someone with no ambition in life whatsoever...no passions...no dreams? And how do you live with this person and continue on with your own life knowing there is nothing you can do to help this person?
This is horrible.
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